Side Show

               “Do you know why I pulled you over?” the police officer asked her.

               “Not entirely sure, sir.” Sheila was trying to hedge her bets.  She had been going about 5 miles above the speed limit but if that wasn’t why she was being pulled over, she didn’t want to add to the possible charges against her.  She was hoping he would not ask her to get out of the car as she only had on her jungle print bathing suit and a pair of flip flops.

               “One of your headlights is out.  You want to tell me how that happened?” He indicated the damage on the hood of her lemon-yellow Volkswagen Beetle.

               “You’re not going to believe it.”

               “Try me.”

               “OK, well, I ran away and joined the circus sideshow…” she began.

…

               Sheila had answered the want ad in the newspaper earlier that summer.  The important part was gaining summer employment.  The bonus was that there would be travel involved and get her out of Northfield.  Sheila was so nervous for the job interview.  Her hands were slick with sweat and heart was thumping so hard Sheila was sure her shirt was moving.

               The classified advertisement in the paper was small, two lines: travelling sideshow performer wanted. June – Aug.  And the telephone number for Cramer productions.  The interview was held in a magic store not far from where Sheila lived. The storefront might have been small, but Scott Cramer was a large man, intimidating to look at.  He shook Sheila’s sweaty hand and offered her a seat.  The interior was dark, black walls with gadgets and gizmos displayed on various shelves.  Sheila had had a passing interest in magic as a 10-year-old, same as many kids, but never graduated past card tricks.  This was on a whole different level. 

               Scott provided a job description, as it were. Sheila only ever called him Scott; he never gave off that air of authority.  He had a relaxed demeanor; the intimidating part dissipated when he started talking.  Receding hairline, close haircut, paunch. He was a magician, his first and last love. The storefront was how he kept busy when he wasn’t travelling during the summer months or going to Las Vegas for conventions during the off season. He must have hired someone to run the place when he wasn’t there.  Sheila don’t know; she never stepped foot in the store again.

               The job itself was not arduous. Sheila was to perform two characters in the side show, switching with another performer.  During the week, she’d do some magical illusions, something about a gorilla and a mermaid. Sheila didn’t quite understand but he said she would learn quickly.  When the caravan arrived at the fairgrounds, whatever time it arrived, 1pm or 3am, the crew needed to set up the circus tents, stages, banners, booths. Scott had hired young strong men who’d do the heavy lifting but everyone was expected to share the workload.  Hours were whenever the faire was open and of course, the setup and takedown.  He would provide a trailer for the girls and pay was once a week, in cash.  He didn’t ask Sheila about skills or experience, did not ask her a whole lot of anything, just looked her over to see if she was pretty enough and asked if she could leave in 2 days. The interview was over in 10 minutes.  Sheila was in.

The crew were to meet in a parking lot on that Saturday. Five large trailers were in the space, each hooked up to a 4x4 truck or large passenger van.  There were two RVs, one all tricked out, one vanilla. There were two standard gray trailers, the smaller one was non-descript but the much larger one displayed “Scott Cramer Productions” along the side with colorful graphics.  The final trailer had an overlarge painting of a female sea creature with “Aqueena the Mermaid” advertising the show. 

As Sheila pulled up, she counted 8 people milling about.  Scott introduced her around and pointed out the RV that would be home for the next few months.  Sheila grabbed her duffle bag and carried it inside.  To her left, there was a dining nook, a table with bench seats. Directly in front opposite the door was the kitchen area, a sink, two burners, a dorm sized fridge, just the basics. There were four bunks. And in the rear, a toilet and shower stall. Sheila chose the other unoccupied lower bunk, using her bag to establish her claim.  As Sheila came back out, Scott was moving everyone into their vehicles.  It was time to get on the road.

The outfit was a travelling circus sideshow that put down stakes next to whatever large circus troupe that was in town, there being several on the circuit.  Although Scott Cramer Productions was not affiliated with the circus, there was an agreement that the magic show would be a compliment to the three rings of performances thereby bringing more people to the fairgrounds and meaning more money in everyone’s pockets. Fair-goers were keen to see the elephants proudly parading around the interior of the big top, the tight-rope walkers and acrobats on the flying trapeze, the clowns and the lion tamers with their menagerie of animals.

The caravan arrived at the state fair grounds and figured out where to park the RVs.  The remaining three trailers moved to their places on the midway.  The mermaid trailer and the gorilla show would remain where they were parked but the big show trailer would have to be emptied and then moved back stage.  And then all the trucks had to go in the parking lot. 

The big show took the longest time to set up and needed the most manpower, so it was all hands on deck.  The first thing to go up is the big top tent.  An absurd amount of canvas had to be taken out of the trailer. The team laid it on the ground and rolled it out flat on the grassy field. Several of the group then circled the perimeter of the roof line and laid out all of the ropes.  They circled again, this time laying out the 4-foot spikes to be pounded into the ground at the end of the ropes.  And then the best show on the fairgrounds started.  Setup a chair and bring out the popcorn.  Young shirtless men pounding stakes with sledgehammers in the hot sun, sweat glistening.  It doesn’t get any better than this.  All of the muscle in the group were engaged in the task.  Unfortunately, there was no time to watch the show; the group had to continue unloading the trucks.  After all the hammering was done, guys loosely tied the ropes from the tent sides and corners to the spikes. Then, using metal poles, people propped up the edges of the tent. The next task required the most strength and stamina, all the strong arms available put up the two center poles and the roof was raised.  This time circling around the edges of the tent, the poles were straightened and the ropes lashed tight.  A last lap around the perimeter on the inside and using a ladder, the sidewalls had to be attached.

Along the side of the tent facing the midway, about 10-12 feet out, another set of spikes were laid down the whole width of the tent.  This was the big show with twelve acts of the “World’s Strangest People” on the stage, including a sword swallower, a woman who conducted electricity through her body, the headless woman and the spider lady and those acts needed to be advertised.  The banner wall framework sat some 20 feet tall with the different performances depicted on 8x8 foot hand-painted canvas banners. “The Emporium of Wonders” was the largest banner raised high above the ticket box and outdoor stage. Not that the banners were delicate but Scott did not want to put them up until shortly before the fair opened and they came down every night to protect the red and gold paint job.

The stage inside the big top came out of the trailer in pieces, along with the rest of the boxes, cabinets, curtains, walls, bed of nails and other illusions and magic tools of the trade. But the big show was not Sheila’s show so a few of the team headed over to the gorilla trailer. 

By now the sun was low in the sky, dusk coming on, but the whole setting up a tent exercise was done again to finish before it got truly dark.  However, this tent was much smaller than the Wonders show with only one center pole so in comparison, it went up fairly quickly.  The entire illusion took place in the trailer with the back door opened so no further setup was required.  Due to the layout of the fairgrounds, the gorilla show was set up right next to the actual circus big top, a boon as that meant the sideshow was likely to get more foot traffic than when it was situated on the other side of the fair grounds.

Sheila finally figured out why she was not given a lot of instructions on the “performance”.  Her job for 8 or 10 hours a day was to wave.  Oh, and be in a bathing suit while waving. That was it.  But the illusions themselves were fun.

At the Aqueena the Mermaid, “Queen of the Living Seas” illusion you could see a real live mermaid, right before your very eyes. There was a ticket stand out front.  Once you’ve paid the admission fee, you climbed the stairs to peek in the curtained window in the middle of the side of trailer.  And there she was, swimming apparently in a 10-gallon fishbowl along with one or two gold fish.  Of course, with all that water in her ears, Sheila couldn’t hear you but she could see you and interact with you, blowing kisses and waving.  Sheila could always tell when someone was approaching the window because the stairs were rickety and noisy.  This was her cue to put down her book because the day was long with nothing to do besides wave. There was always some young man who indicated that he wanted her to remove her top and Sheila always played dumb.

There were two young women to take shifts between the Mermaid show and the Gorilla show so after 3 or 4 hours, Sheila would get a break, change her bathing suit and head over to the other show.  The Mermaid show was alright, but Sheila liked the Georgina show better.

“Live here on our stage, see Georgina the Gorilla Girl!

The only woman alive who has the ability to change, right before your very eyes into a monstrous, hairy, 500-pound gorilla!

She will fully transform from the lovely young lady standing before you now, growing thick black hair all over her entire body.  See her teeth become fangs!

This beautiful girl will be locked into a steel cage right before your very eyes and will change slowly into a ferocious beast!

Come in to see the full transformation of Georgina the Gorilla Girl!

For the thrill of a lifetime, get your tickets now!”

The Georgina show took place every 30 minutes or whenever there were enough people in the tent.  Before the show, Sheila would come out and stand up on the platform outside while the barker, sometimes Scott, sometimes one of the other guys, did his thing to entice people to buy tickets.  A few minutes before show time, Sheila would go into the trailer and be put in the cage.  The show would start and you’d see her smile and wave. Then the narrator would put her in a trance.  Sheila would close her eyes as the narrator would call out “Gorilla, Gorilla, Gorilla!” Right before your very eyes, Sheila would transform into this huge beast.  She was asleep but would suddenly wake up confused at what had happened to her.  And she’d be very angry.  She would start prowling around the cage and raise her arms and step forward.  She’d grab the bars of the cage and shake them, hard.  And then, Sheila would escape! The bars would come crashing down on the stage and she’d race forward, snarling and growling.  Several members of the audience would always shriek and race out of the tent.  And the narrator would convince the gorilla to get back in the cage.

Working the sideshow had its perks.  Sometimes she’d be able to catch a show in the circus to see the 15 clowns tumble out of the tiny clown car that looked a lot like hers or see the elephants trained to step up on their yellow platforms and carry the bespangled wranglers on their backs.  Sheila spent some of her down time with Daniella, one of the elephant maidens. Daniella and Sheila had a lot in common, being the same age and college aspirations.  Daniella convinced Sheila to don a feathered head dress on occasion during her hour dinner break and join her friend on the back of Daniella’s favorite beast of burden, Tiny, the smallest of the five elephants.  Sheila befriended Tiny, stroking her wrinkled skin and singing songs in her ear.  Daniella tried to convince Sheila that she was a natural, to dump the sideshow and move up to the big leagues.  Sheila knew that the circus life was not a career choice she wished to pursue and with so little time left in the season, she didn’t want to make a change.  This summer was just a dalliance, a foot note on her resume and simply a wild ride for the summer.  She thanked her friend for the offer and headed back to the gorilla show.  

It was her last night on the road.  Summer was nearly over and Sheila was headed back to school in a few days. She had already packed her bag and stashed it in her car.  Her plan was to hit the road as soon as the fairgrounds closed and drive straight through the night to get back home.  Sheila had appointment the next day at Kent State that she could not afford to miss.  But she was having the summer of her life and she wanted to stay as long as she could.  Although Sheila wasn’t supposed to, she pulled her car up right outside behind the circus tent so she could leave as soon as possible seeing as her last shift of the night was being Georgina.  Sheila had already said her goodbyes earlier. 

That night the fairgrounds were especially crowded and there were several capacity audiences for the Gorilla show.  Sheila liked a full house as it was a guarantee that a large number of folks would be scared.  And so it was for her last show of the night.  Before the show, Sheila stood outside on the platform showing the crowd how normal she was, that it was impossible that she could become this monster.  The throngs of people on the midway were in high spirits. There was a group of young men who were a bit more animated than others, shouting cat calls and wolf whistles at Sheila.  They came right up to the edge of the platform and tried to grab at Sheila’s legs but Scott came out from behind the ticket box and the guys backed away. But then one of them bought a collection of tickets for the group to see the show. Scott gave Sheila the signal to go get ready and she slipped away inside the gorilla trailer.

Scott was the narrator for this last performance and while he gave his spiel, Sheila went into her trance and transformed.  She woke up, got angry and BAM, down went the bars of the cage. The gorilla beat its chest, growled and lurched forward, menacing the crowd. She kept growling and moved to the edge of the stage, reaching out to grab the unfortunate souls who had chosen to stand right next to the stage.  Scott jumped up on the stage, putting himself between the audience and certain death and coaxed the gorilla back into the cage. And of course, half the tent cleared out in a rush, people running to get away from the beast within.  The inebriated youths were startled and scared but had positioned themselves close to the action and far away from the exit.  In their panic, they blindly ran into each other, fell to the ground and crawled under the sidewall opposite the midway.

Daniella and the rest of the elephant maidens had just finished their show and were guiding their charges out of the rear of the big top towards their containment circles backstage when the group of a half dozen screaming young men ran smack dab into the herd. The pachyderms expressed panic, trumpeting and stamping their feet.  Four of the large animals were able to be contained but Tiny broke free from Daniella’s grasp and started running. Sheila heard the elephants and emerged from the trailer to witness the escape. She and Daniella ran after Tiny, waving their arms and calling to the animal.  Tiny was directionless, weaving back and forth amongst and around the cages, tents, vehicles and RVs parked backstage.  Sheila stopped to catch her breath and started singing, hoping to calm the animal. The tusker slowed down to listen. Daniella grabbed Tiny’s leash and gave the signal for her to stop and sit.  Which she abruptly did.  Just stopped right in her tracks.  Her years of training, listening to her handlers giving her instruction kicked in and when she saw the nearby yellow platform, she sat right down. Except it wasn’t a yellow platform.  It was yellow. A lemon-yellow Volkswagen Beetle. Sheila’s car.

…

               “And that, officer, is what happened.  An elephant sat on my car. I promise. I am not drunk.  An elephant sat on my car.”

               The officer shook his head, looked skyward, warned her to “get that fixed” and sent her on her way.